The quarterly board meeting of Interstellar Inc. is now in session, 100,000 light-years from Earth, give or take a parsec. The agenda: universal domination (with a side of team-building).
CEO Solaris (a fusion-powered executive who literally lights up the room) clears his throat, sending a small solar flare across the table. “Our expansion plan spans two galaxies, synergy level: astronomical,” he declares. There’s a collective groan at the pun, except from the intern – a small grey alien from Andromeda – who diligently notes “astronomical synergy” with a star-tipped pen.
Solaris nods, rays bobbing. “Yes, about that expansion… any risks?” The Head of Legal, an alien with scales and three eyes, consults a thick treaty scroll. “We have some pushback from the Andromeda Council. They’re concerned our merger will create, ah, a ‘supercluster monopoly’.” Solaris waves a plasma hand dismissively. “We’ll cross that wormhole when we come to it. Perhaps a few supernova bonuses will persuade them.”
The HR director – a compassionate Nebula who occasionally forms soothing cloud shapes – interjects softly, “Employee morale on planet Earth’s branch is low. They’ve been in darkness for weeks due to a product testing eclipse.” Solaris frowns, solar flares sputtering. “Send them a care package of auroras and an inspirational quote from Yoda. That usually cheers them up.”
