It was a regular Tuesday in the startup sky-lounge, where ideas float, dreams inflate, and reality takes a nap by the pool.
Our hero, freshly tanned from a weekend workshop called “Pitch, Pray, Repeat”, stood proudly on his pink convertible surfboard, hovering above the clouds. With sunglasses so reflective they disrupted satellite signals, he gazed ahead — and there it was. A shape. A movement. A… cactus?
Yes. A cactus, midair, strapped into a parachute of questionable logic, holding a briefcase full of Series A funding, complete with LED lights and the smell of freshly printed banknotes mixed with lavender oil — the investor-grade scent of confidence.
As the cactus extended a thorny arm to toss the briefcase, the air thickened with buzzwords. Synergy. Equity. Burn rate. Someone nearby muttered “valuation,” and time slowed. You could taste the ROI. It tasted like kombucha that cost way too much.
“IS THIS… funding?” gasped the founder, his pitch deck floating behind him like a sacred scroll.
“Series A, baby,” replied the cactus, with the kind of composure only a spiky desert plant in aviators can pull off.
Below, the clouds formed the shape of an Excel spreadsheet. Somewhere, a podcast was born.
No one knew if the funding was real. But on that day, in the upper stratosphere of hustle dreams, belief was enough. And belief, when paired with bold fonts and a solid brunch strategy, is basically traction.
