Warp straight to Sunday service at the Church of Hustle.
The pews are filled with bleary-eyed believers clutching coffee cups like prayer beads. Up front, under a glowing halo of motivational slogans, the high priest of productivity raises his hands.
“Can I get an Amen for the grind?!”
“Amen!”
…echo the congregants, some still wearing office badges around their necks.
Instead of hymns, they recite affirmations: “No days off, no days off,” in a sing-song chorus.
A repentant member steps into a confession booth labeled “Accountability Pod” to admit he took a whole Saturday off – gasps ripple through the crowd. The preacher dramatically flips to a page in “The Gospel of Grind”, thundering about the evils of idleness and the salvation of the 5am club.
It’s equal parts uplifting and unsettling. The collection plate fills quickly with business cards and overtime pledges.
