If You’re Not Networking, You’re Not Working!

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Hu$tle Cult

In The Secret Meeting At Midnight

Jenna thought she was just joining a networking group

…………..

Now she’s pretty sure it’s a cult

The email invitation said, “Exclusive Hustle Mastermind – midnight session,” which sounded edgy and fun. But here she is at 12 AM, in an underground bunker-turned-temple, wearing a thrift-store robe over her blazer as part of an initiation ritual. Around her, the faithful chant, “One of us! One of us! Grind! Grind!” in a hypnotic rhythm. 

“Brethren and sistren, what do we sacrifice?” The group responds in unison: “Our free time!” 

Marcus raises the golden tablet. “What do we offer?”“Our sanity and second sleep cycle!” they reply. Jenna gulps. She’s pretty sure this wasn’t in the Eventbrite description. The ceremony continues. 

Marcus then unveils the sacred text – a massive tome titled “10X Your Life: Unholy Edition.” He recites passages that sound like twisted self-help mantras: “Verily I say unto you, if you’re not networking, you’re not working!” and “Blessed are the perpetually busy, for they shall inherit the debt.” 


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