Meeting of The Coffee Cult
Every workday at 8:59 AM sharp, the Order convenes. “One more cup and enlightenment shall be ours!” “Beanmen,” whisper two interns in unison (their attempt at “Amen” in coffee-speak). They shuffle forward to present offerings: one slides forward a box of sugar packets (sacrificial sweetness), another lays down a tribute of assorted creamers.
Circling around, the devotees hold their mugs aloft. Each mug bears symbols of their faith: Java Jane’s mug says “But First, Coffee” – a daily creed. Data Dan’s shows the evolution of man from crawling infant to upright coffee-drinker. Sleepy Sue’s just has the word “LIFE” before coffee, and “LIFE!!!” after coffee.
Martin begins the sacred incantation: “Our Bean, who art in grinder, hallowed be thy brew…” The group joins in, reciting the light-hearted litany they’ve memorized: Give us this day our daily boost, and forgive us our late starts, as we forgive those who schedule 8 AM meetings…
