The weekly synergy summit was going as expected — until middle managers #7 and #8 slammed their fist on the table and yelled, “SYNERGIZE OR DIE TRYIN’!” No one knew what triggered them. Possibly the gluten-free croissants. Possibly the KPI report.
Instead of alarm, the team leader leaned in with excitement. “Excellent energy, team,” he said, with the calm of a man who drinks chaos through a reusable straw. “Now let’s circle back and monetize the outburst.”
Within minutes, HR launched a podcast called Emotional Intelligence, Monetized™. Marketing pitched a Netflix docu-series: Crisis, But Make It Scalable. Legal trademarked “synergistic rage.”
Meanwhile, IT turned the security footage into a motivational YouTube ad. It hit 1M views in 4 hours. The outbursting employees? Now thought leaders with a premium newsletter and a bathrobe that says Disruptor.
Finance printed hoodies for the entire department: “We don’t vent. We launch.”
And somewhere — far above — an angel investor shed a single tear of pride, then wired $2M to a team they hadn’t even met. Just vibes.
And the moral? In the world of hustle, every meltdown is just a rebrand waiting to happen.
