He was told to “invest in himself,” so he bought a watering can and declared it his business coach. Now, every drop is a lesson, and every splash is a podcast-worthy breakthrough.
“Every drop is an investment,” he said confidently, soaking his intern with a grin so wide it could file taxes. The intern flinched. The flowers flinched. Even the sun briefly dipped behind a cloud, unsure what exactly was being grown.
But this was no ordinary watering. It was intentional hydration scaling, a technique he coined during a TEDx talk held entirely in a sauna. He called it liquid leadership. The intern called it Tuesday.
Each splash came with buzzwords: “Growth mindset!”, “Rain equity!”, “Soil-based synergy!”… The ground didn’t get it, but the algorithm did. Soon, the video of him drenching a junior associate with entrepreneurial optimism went viral on LinkedIn. Comments ranged from “inspiring!” to “is he okay??”
Brand deals followed. He launched Hydrate & Dominate™, a startup selling reusable water metaphors to burnt-out founders. The intern, now soaking wet and oddly motivated, was promoted to Chief Bloom Officer.
Meanwhile, garden flowers began sprouting dollar signs instead of petals. The economy noticed. Wall Street blinked. Investors rushed in, asking for equity in the “Emotional Agriculture” sector. No one knew what it meant, but everyone wanted a slice.
Somewhere in a VC boardroom, a whiteboard read: “Sprinkle more. Feel less.” A single daisy in a mason jar nodded solemnly.
And that’s how one splash turned into a movement.
Just don’t forget to water your inbox.
