Let’s take a behind-the-scenes look at a boardroom where strategy is optional, jargon is mandatory, and the only KPI that matters is how confidently you can say something meaningless.
Our presenter stands proudly beside a chart that looks like someone tried to reinvent the bullseye after reading half a marketing book. The title? “Meaningless Phrase Spread → Profit.” Naturally.
Around the table, everyone is grading… something. Nobody knows what. The notepads all show cryptic scribbles, numerical doodles, maybe ancient runes. But that’s not important. What matters is that someone in a suit and sunglasses just declared:
“We don’t need content that makes sense – we just need the board to say 6–7 and watch it trend.”
And honestly, that’s the most accurate summary of modern decision-making I’ve heard.
These executives are not seeking clarity, insight, or purpose. They are seeking that mystical moment when a random phrase – pumped full of confidence and presented with enough neon colors – suddenly becomes a trending topic.
Because in hustle culture, trends aren’t earned… they’re declared.
The lesson?
If you can’t explain it, just give it a numerical score and nod wisely. Everyone else will nod too, because nobody wants to be the one who asks…
“Wait… what does any of this mean?”
Welcome to the boardroom – here nonsense is a business model.
