Kev’s daily routine reads like a sci-fi training montage. At 4:00 AM, while mere mortals sleep, Kev begins with a jolt – literally, a small electric zap from the custom EEG headband that senses the precise moment his brain exits a dream.
“Rise and optimize,” he murmurs as he leaps up, already donning blue-light blocking glasses even though it’s still dark out.
Welcome to Biohackers’ Paradise
….population: one very tired overachiever.
Kev’s bloodstream is coursing with a proprietary blend of nootropics and cold brew coffee concentrate. He’s strapped on an oxygen deprivation mask (to “simulate mountain training” at his desk) and typed out a gratitude journal entry in 30 seconds flat using a template he pre-formatted for efficiency.
Friends have tried to slow him down. “Kev, come to the beach this weekend,” they begged, pointing to that old Paradise poster in his office. But Kev slapped a sticky note over it that reads
“GOAL: 10x OUTPUT”
and quipped,
“Vacation is for those who haven’t optimized their grindset.”
