Brodeck was halfway through his fourth “crucial” pitch rehearsal when the skies split open and an alien descended in a UFO shaped suspiciously like a seed round.
With reflexes honed from three accelerators and a thousand pitch decks, Brodeck whipped out his content blaster and started filming. “Bro, this is going straight in my investor deck,” he beamed, his oversized goggles reflecting potential Series B funding.
The alien, unbothered by gravity or branding guidelines, waved awkwardly and muttered something about “synergy.” It was unclear whether it was offering friendship or an interplanetary merger, but it had excellent posture and that was enough for Brodeck to mentally assign it a C-suite role.
Nearby, the grass shimmered with the kind of green that screams luxury wellness pivot. The air was thick with possibility and ozone. The laser cam made a satisfying “ratatatata” sound — purely for vibe, not function — and Brodeck’s pitch voice shifted into TEDx mode.
He imagined the slide: “Cross-Galactic Partnerships – Real Disruption Begins at Atmospheric Entry.”
Back at Hustle HQ, the boardroom trembled slightly. Not from fear, but FOMO. Somewhere, someone was going to pivot into space-based networking, and they weren’t on the cap table yet.
The alien offered a gift: a glowing cube that hummed when you believed in yourself too hard. Brodeck called it a sentient KPI cube and added it to the roadmap.
And just like that, hustle had breached the stratosphere.
